Wow! I really have no idea where to begin? So much seems to have happened since coming back to Utah after christmas break!
Thrown right back into everything! School, searching for a job, school, finding time to talk to friends back home, having a social life, and well school!
I really dont even know what happened between christmas break and now my plans for summer and fall! It seriously just all seemed to happen at once and now plans are set and getting put in action.
My plan, after lots of pros and cons list, praying, fasting, contemplating with myself and others, I have decided that the best thing for me is to go home and work in the summer, and go to school in florida in the fall. I was scared at first. I had so many options, and I just didn't know what to do. I have never been so confused, and have never had to make a decision as hard as this. My decision to come out to Utah seemes so easy and right. I didn't care that I would have to work super hard to try and reach my goal of getting into BYU. I told my self that I would do whatever I could to get in, and after trying so hard it began to feel as if I wasn't getting accepted for a reason. I remember so perfectly the feeling I had when I got the email saying "a decision has been made on your application of enrollment to Brigham Young University". I wasn't nervous, and I wasn't excited, I just had this feeling that I knew what I was going to see when I checked, and sure enough I was right. I saw "Denied" for the 3rd time. It was at that moment I realized I had to change my plan. Going to BYU has always been the one thing I have ever dreamed of doing in my life, but if I have done everything I possibly could then it must not be the place for me. It was hard to accept that, but we need to always follow the promptings of the Lord. We may have a plan for our life, but He knows what we need to do, and where we need to be.
I feel like I have come so close to the Lord through this whole experience! I know that He knows me better than I know myself, and I will always put my trust in him!
If I am needed in Orlando for whatever reason, I will go, and I am looking forward to it SO much! I just know it is going to be an amazing experience and I will be able to learn more about myself and what I am capable of by stepping out of my shell and doing something that really has just fallen in place. Not something that I had to try so hard to make work!
I love life right now and cannot wait to have an amazing summer and what I hope and am sure will be a great an different life.
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