things are gonna get better

So far life in Orlando has been a very interesting experience and lately I have found it much harder to stay focused on the positive aspects of this experience.

I don't want to be this person who dosen't give change a chance. Eight months ago I had this feeling that coming out to Orlando for school was what I needed to do and as hard as I knew it would be I was looking forward to the challenge of meeting new people and coming out of my shell even more than I had to in Utah. I wish I still felt the same. Lately I have found myself only being able to focus on the things I miss about UT and focusing on those things makes it a lot harder for me to enjoy myself here.

I had lots of different ideas of why the Lord would send me out here, but of course I over think eveyrthing and I found that one reason has made it self known that I had never previously thought of. I wouldn't call it a punishment but I think it is more of a humbling thing. I will honestly say that when I was out in UT I didn't always have the best attitude. I focused a lot on how hard it was being out there and not going to BYU, and because of this I didn't really enjoy school. I also focused WAY too much on how far away I was from home and because of this it made it difficult for me to try and make good friends. I felt like I had enough friends back home and I didn't need anymore than my roommates. There are lots of other things that stopped me from enjoying myself completely but I either can't remember them or don't feel like explaining them. Im a complicated person lol, but not really. :)

Anyway, looking back on last year now I can't help but think "wow, life was so much easier". I took so much of what I had out there for granted and now that I don't have them anymore I have found that they are things that are a lot more important to me than I realized.

I miss living with my best friends. I miss being able to walk to church. I miss having the opportunity to go to CES firesides and General Conferences. I miss getting to enjoy sunday dinners with family that we didn't get to see much growing up. I miss the mountains. I miss being able to go to the temple whenever I wanted to. I miss being able to walk to 711, or just anywhere after dark and feeling safe. I miss having home teachers. I miss the random parties people would have at their apartments. I miss ward prayer and nice notes. I miss cafe rio. I miss riding the bus. I miss being able to walk over to friends apartments. I miss hearing people talk about the prophet at walmart. I miss having a calling at church. . .and the list could go on and on.

Most of those things were just how life was. I didn't think of them as anything special, but now that they aren't part of my life I hate that I didn't take more time to enjoy them, instead of just see them as things I should be doing.

I guess I don't really know what I was trying to get out of writing this post? I have had so much on my mind about what the future has in store for me and I think being able to recognize certain things about UT will help me in future decisions I may have to make. All I can say is I never thought I would end up going to school in Florida, and yet here I am. Anything can happen, plans can change, and I hope that whatever happens I will be able to stay strong and let things happen the way they are suppose to.

so different

I live in Orlando. A year ago I never would have thought I would be going to school and living in Orlando.

It has always been my plan to graduate high school and enjoy 4 fun-filled years at BYU. Well, my plan has definitely not gone how I expected.

I miss Utah a lot more than I thought I would and I find it interesting that it wasn't until I decided to move back to FL that I realized just how much of a life I had created for myself in Provo. But as much as I would have loved to stay I just felt like for some reason Orlando is where I need to be right now. Defintely still waiting to know what that reason is. Just have to keep reminding myself that the Lord works in mysterious ways. :)

So far my life in Orlando is going well. I love UCF and I love all of my classes! I really feel good about what this semester has to offer, and I think I can be successful in my classes! That is defintely a plus! Living situation is interesting. . . I knew it would be different but I never thought I would be put through something this far from what my values are. I guess you could say I was secretly hoping that by some miracle I would end up with a roommate who was mormon. That is DEFINITELY not the case, but it has given me something to gain from, like patience, finding comfort in what the gospel has to offer, patience, and PATIENCE!

I have a feeling like it will be a long year, but at the same time I also feel like it will go by qucikly if I keep myself busy and focus on the most important things in life like church and school. Thank goodness I have maggie here to be my saving grace from all the madness!

I truely hope that as this year goes by I may come to understand why it is that I felt like I should come here and I also hope that whatever my next move is suppose to be, that it might be made known to me in time and that I might be patient with answers to my prayers!

Wish me luck!